I want out…But I have nowhere to go.

This is kind of the story of my life.

1:08 am  1 note

So I totally make the best life decisions and “trust” in all the right people…but really, who needs friends when you have drugs and alcohol?

1:42 am

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8:12 pm

“It’s the stupid stuff. It’s the maintenance of life, the little things, what to cook for dinner, should I order Chinese or Italian, why haven’t I picked up my laundry after six days and can I wear the socks with the holes in them or should I just hand-wash the dirty ones? It’s returning the call to my grandmother, which I’m never going to have five minutes to do because the guilt takes everything out of me. It’s the books that not on the shelves in alphabetical order so I can never find my copy of Villette or Valley of the Dolls or whatever I’m looking for, it’s the photographs that need frames, it’s the posters that aren’t on the walls because I never seem to have a hammer and a nail in the same place at the same time. It’s being a grown-up, which I never figured out how to do, and scrubbing the tub, and remembering to eat and shampoo my hair. It’s the basics: I can write a whole book, but I cannot handle the basics.”

— Elizabeth Wurtzel, More, Now, Again

7:32 pm  6 notes

That awkward moment when you have a sexual dream about somebody you know in real life that you’ve never thought about in that way before and then when you see them in real life again you instantly think of the sexy things you did in your dream..

1:27 pm

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4:14 pm  1 note

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11:59 pm  1 note

It feels super weird still being on campus. Dorms close tomorrow and some of my friends were originally also going to leave tomorrow but then I found out last night that they’d actually be leaving this morning, so now it feels like it just me and all the seniors. Both of my roommates are gone so I have this giant, barren triple to myself right now with all of my shit scattered everywhere in an attempt to organize it. And graduation was today so there are SO many families and friends here and there are all these strangers who are celebrating and having fun and it feels like there’s a party going on just outside my door that I wasn’t invited to, nor would I want to be though, I just want the party to leave. And everyone is all dressed up and nice and I’m just sitting in my room alone unshowered and dirty from packing all day, which I still have so much more to do because not only am I the worst freaking procrastinator and get distracted way too easily, but I’m also starting to realize that I’m a total hoarder and I have WAY too much shit that I don’t even know what to do with. 

I really just want to be done packing and out of here and in my apartment in Philly already. But I feel like this packing will never end.

5:24 pm

I just have one more freaking essay to cram in tonight and then I can finish packing my room and I’ll be freeee. I really just want to get this stupid paper done and I don’t even care how shitty it is at this point.

5:46 pm  2 notes

I swear to god this shit always has the best timing…

Now I’m all pissed off and my adrenaline is pumping and I’m thinking about stupid life shit and I just want to go outside for a cigarette and the fucking birds are starting to chirp because it’s four in the morning and they’ve just woken up and I haven’t even gone to sleep yet and my alarm is going to go off in three and a half hours. Maybe I should honestly just not sleep at this point.

4:04 am